Hi. having followed you for a while I know you came out to your family (brave / congratulations), but as you go out dressed I’m interested in how, or whether, you get on with neighbors/friends/drinking buddies etc and deal with those in your town who may know you as your male side if they meet you.
Very few people in my life know my male side and my female side. At this point I think I have told everyone I plan on telling. And for some reason, realizing I am transgender makes it easier to tell people as opposed to being “just a crossdresser”.
As a male, I am pretty quiet and keep to myself. I don’t have drinking buddies. In fact, I have few friends as it is, but I don’t see them enough. It’s unlikely I would bump into people who know the male side of me when I am Hannah. I stay away from the parts of town where I know a lot of people.
Some t-girls are scared to death someone will recognize them, but people don’t make eye contact with each other and really see someone as often as you think. When I go out, I am rarely standing still…I am walking through a mall, browsing the sales racks, running errands…basically I am always moving. I rarely give people a chance to really get a good look at me. That’s not to say I am hiding or avoiding people. Not at all. I’ll chat with the people in line with me at Target, make small talk with cashiers.
I think Hannah and the male side of me look pretty different from each other. I go out as often as I do because I think it’s unlikely people will recognize me. Also, when I am out running errands as a guy, I rarely bump into people I know anyway, which made me realize just how unlikely I will run into someone I know in a city this size, as a guy or as Hannah.
You get out a lot. Can I ask, what is your opinion on what to do about your voice? I have tried with limited success to come out with a femme voice but nothing that I am really confident with. Also when I am out in the public I fear I will not be able to do the femme voice anyway. I would never pass, is the voice something I should continue to try and improve?
I do get out a lot, but I have never really worried too much about my voice. It’s probably because I am over 6 feet tall and wear heels, I don’t have a chance of passing. If I looked like my crossdressing idols, like Monika Cathrine or Heidi Phox and passed like them I would try to develop a femme voice, but I don’t feel the need to do so. I don’t have a very deep male voice in the first place, but I do notice a definite change in my voice when I am Hannah. Not the voice itself, but I do inflect differently, my vocabulary changes a bit, I speak slower and softer. It’s not a conscious change, it just feels natural to have this shift. Even if I sounded exactly like a genetic girl, people would still know I was transgender. I rely on my mannerisms, and presentation and slight changes to my voice and speaking patterns to present as a woman.
Developing a femme voice is difficult work, and it’s up to each person if they want to have one. I would focus more on modifying your speaking patterns a bit, and see how that feels. If it feels natural, then continue going down this path. I hope this helps!
One of the things in my stats I can see are the terms people use to find my website. “Crossdressing”, “Hannah”, “Minnesota” are all pretty common. One term I saw today was “Is Crossdressing Forever?”
Yes. It is.
Here’s the thing about crossdressing, and this is important: IT DOES NOT GO AWAY. You can never permanently purge. It’s not a phase. Throwing your panties away doesn’t “fix” anything. If you liked to wear heels when you were 20. you will like to wear them when you are 40.