Your photo shoot pix are awesome. Not sure which dress I like better. Which one do you like?
So, with Halloween this weekend I have a costume question for you. Have you ever gone out dressed as a playboy bunny or a black cat– leotard and black tights kinda thing? I’ve never gone out that way but think it would be great fun
Thank you! I love how they turned out,. I love both of the dresses and I had the hardest time picking out which dresses I wanted to wear for the photos before I settled on these two. I went back and forth on casual versus formal, between glam and everyday looks. I think I picked the dresses I did for specific reasons, When I started to dress, I tended to wear black dresses or colors that allowed me to blend in a little. I think a lot of us are afraid to be noticed…if we are noticed we might be outed as a crossdresser or recognized so blending in is a very safe way to dress. I picked the yellow dress to really show that I am not afraid of anything…of being noticed, of being identified as transgender and I am beyond the point of worrying about being recognized. I honestly believe I look very different as Hannah and don’t believe I could be recognized. To me, this is me at my most confident, this is me fearless.
The other dress is also reflecting how fearless and confident I’ve become, but also touching on the result of a lot of hard work. Crossdressing, as we all know is so much more than wearing a dress. When we put on a dress (or make up for that matter) we expect that dress to magically turn us into the beautiful girl we all yearn to be. But let’s face it, that’s not what happens. It’s usually a mixture of elation and disappointment. The joy comes wearing something we’ve always wanted to wear but the letdown comes from not looking as good as we hoped we would look. And that is when the hard work comes in. When I first wore a wig, I didn’t look like how I wanted to look…but there was a spark…I saw the potential to look as beautiful as I always dreamed. Once I saw the potential, I got to work. I learned a lot about make up, a lot about clothes, I learned about presentation, about wearing clothes that were age and body type appropriate, I learned a lot about jewelry and about matching shoes to the dress. I also got to work when it came to losing weight. In January 2015 I was a size 18, these days I am a size 12. Months ago I never would’ve had the courage to wear something so form fitting. I love the picture to the left, the dress is beautiful and I feel that I look good in it. I think I can pull it off. My presentation is really feminine and the pink heels are a bold choice but they work. I look comfortable and confident. This is a picture that took a second to capture but took years to achieve.
As for the costume question, I have a complicated relationship with Halloween. I understand it’s a chance for girls like us to dress up and not be questioned but for me, I dress up to pick up a bottle of wine or browse a bookstore. I don’t like dressing on Halloween because I don’t want to be seen as dressing up for a costume as opposed to who I am. I’ve never really dressed up for Halloween. I would love to go to work as Hannah on Halloween but when I am Hannah I don’t think I could be live in my male mode while being Hannah. Does that make sense? But I suppose there is nothing from stopping me from dressing up as a princess for Halloween but I think I would need a different wig….I can’t be “Hannah as a princess” but I could simply dress up as a princess….