How many people know both Hannah and your male side and are the interactions with them similar or different depending on how you present?
Also, I’m sure there are many people who only know you as Hannah. Have you ever met or seen any of your Hannah-only friends while presenting in male mode? And if so, do you have to remind yourself not to say anything or let on that Hannah knows them fearing you might out yourself by accident?
There are only a handful of people in my male life that know about Hannah. The people in my male life who know about her I only interact with them as a male. Well, except for my wife, of course. I had come out to different people over the years with the hope of them getting to know Hannah as well but that hasn’t happened and I doubt it will. I thought that it would be fun instead of me going out to dinner with my sisters in male mode that Hannah would come out but I don’t really see that happening. My sisters and the people I’ve come out to are wonderful people that are supportive of transgender people but for various reasons I haven’t gotten to the point where Hannah and my male side can both be a part of my family.
I don’t want to overthink why this hasn’t happened but some of the reasons come from when I came out to my sisters and my mom was when I identified as a crossdresser as opposed to being transgender. I think being a crossdresser and being transgender are different from each other and for my sisters (and my mom) they perhaps think that I just like to dress up and wear makeup as opposed to being transgender and how much of a part of me it really is. It is literally my other half.
Of course, I could talk about this with them again but I am trying to figure out if I really want to, or need to. I have a wonderful, fulfilling life as both genders and I am wondering if it would needlessly complicate things. The interactions with those who know about me aren’t really different but they were a little awkward right after I told them about myself.
I have never seen any of Hannah’s friends in public while in male mode and even if I did, I of course wouldn’t say anything to out myself. Speaking for myself, I think most t-girls enjoy our lives as dual genders and that none of us have any interest in meeting the male sides of our t-girl friends.